


Share With Me Your Sorrow, For You Are Not Alone

by HeroMaggie



Series: Anders Needs Hugs [3]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Anders Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Loss, So Does Eavan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 18:43:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1658570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeroMaggie/pseuds/HeroMaggie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders and Eavan, Warden Commander of Ferelden, bond over loss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Share With Me Your Sorrow, For You Are Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> For my Eavan - my favorite Origin so far and the one I've really bonded with.

Eavan walked into the Keep's library, her arms full of papers. The Seneschal had handed her a stack of files, telling her that the Rights of High Justice rested with her. She had looked at the petitions, looked at the Seneschal, and had mumbled that she'd be in the library. The man had given her a nod of approval, his smile twisting into something that conveyed both commiseration and amusement. 

Dropping the papers in a messy pile on the desk taking up space in front of a rather nice viewing window, she rubbed a hand over her hair. Never-ending, she thought. The job was never-ending. Her sigh was echoed across the room and her eyes cut across the large space, hand moving to her dagger. Slumped on the floor in front of the fire, hands in his hair, sat the mage she had recruited. He was curled in on himself, fingers gripping the long strands. 

“Anders?” her voice ghosted across the room. The man stiffened, shoulders hunching. Moving slowly, hand outstretched as if coaxing a wounded animal out from under a crate, Eavan approached with measured steps. “Anders? What's wrong?”

Anders turned his head from her, his hands slipping out of his hair to brush over his face. “Commander. I thought nobody used the library.”

She settled down next to him, keeping her body turned toward the fire, “The Seneschal was nice enough to give me some work. I figured I'd dump it in here. Better here than my room. That desk is already full of paperwork.”

Anders' snort was brief, sharp. She turned her head to look at his profile, noting the wet trails down his cheek. She bit her lip and tried to think of a way to ask the man why he was crying. It had been so easy with Alistair, his grief worn open and honest. Grief they both had shared. And Alistair had been so harmless, so...Alistair. Anders was an unknown, a human man she had rescued because....because...

Anders turned to face her, his eyes shadowed with something close to pain but more. It was a look she was intimately familiar with, one she had worn for months after Duncan had recruited her and then had died. It was the look Alistair had worn after Ostagar, after that terrible loss. It was the look of absolute desolation, a pain that couldn't be expressed in words. 

That look drew her to him and she slid to her knees, her arms enfolding Anders as best as she was able to. He inhaled and then wrapped his arms around her, dragging her against him with a sob. She whispered soothing words, brushing her hands over his hair and shoulders while he rocked her and his sobs shook them both. 

It was a while before he relaxed his grip on her. Eavan didn't speak, just allowed him to settle, to press his face against her hair. Finally, he was able to look her in the eye. His entire expression radiated embarrassment. “Commander, I...”

She sighed, “Anders, it's ok. It's not the first time I've found myself hauled onto a sobbing man's lap.” At his incredulous look she laughed, a broken sound, “After Ostagar.” Her eyes cut down to his chin, her own sadness welling up, still as potent as the day she had been told. “It was just Alistair and I, mourning the loss of so many, including the man who recruited both of us. Alistair...”

Anders watched her, eyes mirroring her own pain. “I'm sorry.”

“Want to talk about it?” Eavan slid a thumb down his cheek, wiping the tears away. “Talking helps.”

“I...guess.” Anders closed his eyes and rested his chin on her head. “I just received a letter from...a friend.” His sob shook him and he held on to her again, “More than a friend. He's being...moved...to Kirkwall.”

Eavan nodded against his chest, brushing delicate fingers over the back of his neck. “A mage friend, then?”

“Yes, Karl. My...” his sigh was soul-weary. “He was always there for me. I'd escape, they'd bring me back, and he'd be there to pick me back up. They are taking him away from me. I'll never...when will I ever get to...After solitary, after that year spent talking to nothing but a cat, left in that cell, he was all that pulled me back.”

Eavan's fingers tangled in his hair as she pulled him closer. “The way they treat you mages is criminal. Solitary simply because you wished to be free. Is it any wonder I had to conscript you out from under that templar?” She smiled a little, rubbing her face against his chest. “I'm sorry about Karl. Perhaps, once all this is over, we'll find a reason to go to Kirkwall. See your friend. Maybe...do one better and piss off the Chantry by conscripting him too.”

Anders laugh was pure amusement at that and he gave Eavan one more squeeze before sitting back. She smiled at him and cupped his cheek. “You're a Warden now, Anders. We are never alone, not really. It's a forever thing. And even when we leave the Keep, you'll always have a part of us with you. The taint doesn't just let us fight the darkspawn, it bonds us to every man and woman who ever drank from the cup. It's a little bit of comfort, in the dark of the deep roads. A little light in the gloom we have to live in. Alistair taught me that.”

Anders face sobered as he looked at her. “He's a lucky man, having a woman like you to love him. It's...almost too bad...”

Her laugh tinkled through the room. “Oh Anders.” She chuckled slightly and slowly pulled herself from his arms. “What ever am I going to do with you?”

He cocked an eyebrow at her, his lips quirking. “I could think of ten things just off the top of my head.”

“Maker's breath, you're as bad as Zev.” She slid a hand over his hair, watching his eyes close in pleasure at the touch. “I'm going to go torture myself with the files the Seneschal gave me. Are you feeling better?”

He grabbed her hand before she could move away, pressing a soft kiss to the palm. “I am, thank you. And I was serious. He's a lucky man.”

Eavan's smile was gentle as she pulled away from Anders. “One day, I pray you find somebody who will make you happy, who will see what you hide with all that flirting and humor.” His eyes widened slightly and she laughed again. “Not me, you couldn't handle me.” Her wink and smile made him laugh in appreciation.

Settling at the desk, piles of papers spread across the surface, Eavan watched Anders stand and stretch. Her eyes lingered for a moment, shadowed, as she watched him straighten his hair and robes. She saw ghosting over his form the face of Alistair, felt his hands holding her. Then she was back in the Keep, Anders warm smile making her smile. They nodded, shared pain held in check in their eyes. Eavan gave him one last smile, then turned to her work. Anders stood in the room watching her a moment longer, then turned to go find somebody to bother.

**Author's Note:**

> This little story has spawned a follow-up set in DA2. I am working on editing it but that made me quite happy.


End file.
